Didn't I Tell You?

Wrote this about 4 years ago. Things don't change much.

ESCAPE OF THE TOYS

For Britney Spears

". . . when you see a chance, take it . . ."--Little Stevie Winwood

"When you see a fork in the road, take it."--Yogi Bera

"After a solid year of image-making-over, from wanton carousing to topless posing to Madonna macking, the pop tart just may have pulled her most un-Mouseketeer stunt to date--she reportedly got married in a quickie Vegas ceremony." (E! Online, Jan 3, 2004)"But the couple arranged an annulment Saturday afternoon in the presence of several people, including a Las Vegas lawyer, said a source close to Spears who spoke on condition of anonymity." (Charlotte Observer, Jan 5,2004)

play like you're making a video; imagine
you're playing a mock-up
of Lola, in that movie where she had to run,
Lola, run! Run, or your boyfriend gets it! I mean, I know
that either this is all a hoax, and nothing ever happened,
or publicity your management thinks will grab headlines and sell CD's
or maybe just another drunken stunt, but still, take my advice:
the timing is perfect, couldn't be better. Think:
the next year's models are already on the shelf,
and the Island of the Misfits
really does exist, just like in that claymation
Rudolph the Reindeer movie. You're damaged goods,
last year's broken toy, and it won't be long before your replacement parts
wear out. It's not like you're a puppy,
they can't swat you on the nose like you made on the carpet. With toys, broke is broke
So: genuine or not, take that boy's hand
and run! Run! RUN!
Back to Loosiana, where they don't know nothing.
Get the hell outta Vegas, make a run through the jungle
into the swamp, maybe even as far as the gulf!
Quick like a bunny, before anyone sees,
before they notice you and load you on a chopper
for the Island! Quick like a bunny! Before it's too late!
Go! Churn those chubby legs!




Yeah. Things don't change much. It just turns out that the Island of the Misfit Toys turned out to be a helluva good location for a reality show.