The Eiger Configuration*

THE LONG TERM effects of the ongoing chili dog experi-ment-- about which more shortly-- included another in a series of lifelong explorations into the possibilities of grilling things inside slices of white bread. This time, instead of JUST chili and cheese, I added sliced turkey. My initial thinking was that the addition of the deli meat would add a degree of stability to the tower, but I was also somewhat curious as to what, if any, effect it might have on the overall flavor of the device. Right now I don't have an answer or a slant or a take on that, something I am still getting my mouth-slash-head around-- and lunch was over the better part of an hour ago. I mean, it was terrific, a chili-cheesy-mustard-schmeared delight, and the totletts were awesome alonside, dunked in Ketchupo!(TM). But as to what the turkey added . . . Let me get back to you on that.

I had to add this pic though, just to give you an idea of the scope. Check out that cross-section . . .

The chili-dog experiment began as a result of something or other that reminded me how much I love a good chili dog. This was reinforced by a visit to a local bowling alley, where I did not bowl, but instead elected to sample their footlong, adorned with mustard, slaw and chili. About a month after that, I found myself foraging for lunch at the local Harris-Teeter, and tumbled to the chili dog conclusion. Which turned out to be that, four about ten bucks, I can pretty easily set myself up for four very solid lunches.

After this-- you can see a pic of one of the early configurations a coupla-three-four entries back-- I went through the variations, including using different chilis, various cheeses, different mustards, and the addition of chopped shallot-- not onion, shallot, which, trust me, is worth the difference, even though the only reason I tried it was that it was what I had on hand. One of my favorites was a particular lunch when I had two dogs, each with a different cheese, chili, and mustard. Awesome.

Eventually, I ended up with a chili that didn't really go well with the dogs, an Armour Star product that was more of a stew than a sauce. This cooked down far more than I intended it to, to the point that it was basically a paste. (It didn't help that I had mistakenly grabbed the chili WITH BEANS, which I would normally never do, and which is precisely the wrong thing to use as a chili dog sauce.) But the end result was that I added water, heated it up, doctored it with spices, let it cook down, and shortly, I had the perfect chili for the grilled chili cheese sandwich. Richard Drefuss could have made stalagmites with this stuff.

Still considering the turkey angle. I'll get back to you.

This was not the movie of the day. It was the movie of the day yesterday (during which I ate a grilled turkey and bacon on white, which was terrific). I didn't see this when it first came out, I think for reasons to do with the distribution-- I seem to think that our local theater chains interepreted it as the usual Woody Allen movie, which in this market back in those days meant it was supposed to hit the art house theater six or eight weeks late, rather than send it out as the first-week blockbuster it was supposed to be. Also, I guess, I was in college at the time, and I didn't go out to see a whole lot of movies while I was in college. But I had been a low-level Woody Allen fan, mainly enjoying his work in Sleeper and Bananas and especially Take the Money and Run ("It says 'I have a gub.' What's a 'gub?'"), as well as some of the brainier bits, especially Manhattan, which would eventually have nothing whatever to do with my own infatuaion with great, grand, grubby Gotham. And this got alot of awards, and ended up on averybody's year end best of list, and is often used as a perjorative in regard to Allen's later works, so I guess I always kinda figured I would eventually see it. Turns out yesterday was the day.

And just let me say this about Zelig. There was one line in there I still get a great deal of use out of-- "I love baseball; it doesn't have to mean anything, it's just beautiful"-- but other than that, I have no use for that long, hard slog through early psychoanalytic horseshit.

There.

Anyways. This was not a bad film. In addition to being superlative mid-eighties New York porn, just scene after scene of lucious streetscapes and excellent tracking shots and on and on, it features some really lovely performances, including a perfectly mid-tempo turn by Sam Waterson as an architect demonstrating precisely how right everything wrong about New York is. (That's not what his character is meant to do, but that, in my opinion, is what he ends up doing. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.) But by and large, it's the standard Allen template: nerotic New Yorkers have a grand old time screwing up their lives. Man dissillusioned by his ordinary life convinces himself that he is in love with his wife's sister! Near-incest infidelity leads to neurotic breakdown! Aging artist must face up to the young lover he can no longer keep! Flighty would-be female artiste flits from art form to art form, oblivious to the fact that she's not terribly good at any of them! And, as always, it's near impossible to say whether Allen is being misogynistic or sarcastic in the way he draws his female characters.

But oh! Those performances! Diane Weist! Michael Caine! Barbara Hershey! Allen himself, doing 'imself in that impeccably hilarious, neurotically charming way he hardly ever does anymore! New York! And, as near as I could tell, not a single blow job referrence.

Or maybe I missed it. There was a sandwich involved on my end at one point.

So do I recommend it? I dunno. Maybe next time I'll skip adding the turkey.

*So. Um. In a way, this film has big things in common with both The Eiger Sanction and The Eighth Configuration. It has both deep intrigue thrust against the backdrop of stunning location shots, and a bunch of whackos plunked down amidst astonishing and imposing architecture. Consider these elements cleverly written into the review. (Of the sandwich. Nothing like that could be said of what I wrote about the movie.)