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I almost never watch public television anymore. Not since years ago having the revelation that most of what I was seeing was alot of posturing and posing backed up by not very much, or very good, science. That is not to say I never watch PBS shows, but just that I more often get like-themed stuff at the History Channel or Discovery Channel or what have you, since the formats are far less dowdy, the information comes faster and clearer, and I don't gotta wait forty-five seconds between each breathless proclamation by the narrator (or maybe they even call them "presenters," because as near as I can tell, the PBS geeks have never gotten over the notion that they either are, or should be, British).
And I have contribiuted to the local PBS outlets on occasion, like when they've had a booth out somewhere. (Which is rare; why would they stoop to that level when they can keep their loyal audience prisoner for the hell that is Festival Week?) Like any other bum or panhandler, I have gladly dropped as much as a fin in the outheld cup bearing the PBS banner.
That said, UNCTV has always had the crappiest advertising.
Go ahead, say what you will: it's not technically advertising, because it is not to make profits for manufacturing or blah-de-blah-de-blah. It's advertising. If they're saying Watch our show! or Give us money! it's advertising.
The levels of badness have varied over tyhe years, but the thing that came in the mail today . . . Well, it's really bad. The envelope is adorned with one of those crappy, squiggly-outline cartoons that usually go with self-help pamphlets or herpes medications. This one is of a guy walking a tightrope or highwire, balancing pole in hands. The message beneath this caricature is We took a chance on you . . .
Meanwhile I'm thinking How? How in the name of God have you taken a chance on me?!?
A little clarity might help here: UNCTV is the Chapel Hill based PBS. The local one is unaffiliated with UNCC, which means UNC at Charlotte, or University of North Carolina at Charlotte, because when, decades ago, it was proposed that the planned local PBS affiliate be attached to and located at the local UNC-system school, the pretentious bastards at the UNC affiliate, in goddamned CHAPEL HILL, threw a shit-fit. Much like they did after UNCC grew a radio station. The CHAPEL HILL bastards forced them to move off campus in order to get their government matching funds. True story.
So anyways, I open the envelope, and the text of the plea is like this:
We took a chance on YOU.
We took a chance that you would like . . .
A dozen different shows that I never watch. I never watch NOVA because I do not think it enriches the human soul to have the crap bored out of me for an hour, no matter how pretty the pictures are. I never watch ANTIQUES ROADSHOW, because I find I never give a crap how much someone else's old junk is worth. Even when it's a sword.
I have watched GREAT PERFORMANCES, but, hey, sometimes the performances aren't all that, y'know, great. I recall having watched THE AMERICAN EXPERIENCE, and having it put me damn near to sleep, all the while thinking "Well, it's an American experience, but I wouldn't say it's THE American experience." FRONTLINE is what I put on my dog to keep ticks and fleas away, I have no need to watch it.
I have never watched NORTH CAROLINA WEEKENDS, but that just 'cause we are always busy on the weekends. (Great typo there, that almost came out "we are always busty on the weekends." Tee-he-he.) I have watched WASHINGTON WEEK, but, really, LEGISLATIVE WEEK IN REVIEW? I barely care what the @#$%ers have done once it has become law.
As for CURIOUS GEORGE, ARTHUR, or SESAME STREET, I am way beyond the years when I cared, but even then those were just things we watched when Spiderman wasn't on.
But the worst part is the part that comes, traditionally, after their earnest pitch convinces all us unwashed,uncultured schlubs, whom they are sure they have convinced we know not what quality content is, the pitch.
In order to contribute, they want you to become a MEMBER. You gotta join up, be in the COOL CLUB! Otherwise, these quality shows might not exist! Fork over the money, or the muppet gets it!!!
Which is bullshit. Everybody knows that the real money comes from generous donations from insurance and chemical poison companies. And GE. We can't leave out GE. GE has to donate alot to PBS, or else they chance not getting those contracts to make the billion dollar fighter-bomber jets. My $25 would mean less than a spit in the ocean.
Oh, and that's the discount membership. Apparently, they expect us to be cheap bastards down here in the flatlands. Get away from me, ya drunk. No, I don't got a dollar I could spare.
Remind me to thank my wife for deciding to buy a shredder. This is what it's really for: GOP leaflets and PBS come-ons.
And I have contribiuted to the local PBS outlets on occasion, like when they've had a booth out somewhere. (Which is rare; why would they stoop to that level when they can keep their loyal audience prisoner for the hell that is Festival Week?) Like any other bum or panhandler, I have gladly dropped as much as a fin in the outheld cup bearing the PBS banner.
That said, UNCTV has always had the crappiest advertising.
Go ahead, say what you will: it's not technically advertising, because it is not to make profits for manufacturing or blah-de-blah-de-blah. It's advertising. If they're saying Watch our show! or Give us money! it's advertising.
The levels of badness have varied over tyhe years, but the thing that came in the mail today . . . Well, it's really bad. The envelope is adorned with one of those crappy, squiggly-outline cartoons that usually go with self-help pamphlets or herpes medications. This one is of a guy walking a tightrope or highwire, balancing pole in hands. The message beneath this caricature is We took a chance on you . . .
Meanwhile I'm thinking How? How in the name of God have you taken a chance on me?!?
A little clarity might help here: UNCTV is the Chapel Hill based PBS. The local one is unaffiliated with UNCC, which means UNC at Charlotte, or University of North Carolina at Charlotte, because when, decades ago, it was proposed that the planned local PBS affiliate be attached to and located at the local UNC-system school, the pretentious bastards at the UNC affiliate, in goddamned CHAPEL HILL, threw a shit-fit. Much like they did after UNCC grew a radio station. The CHAPEL HILL bastards forced them to move off campus in order to get their government matching funds. True story.
So anyways, I open the envelope, and the text of the plea is like this:
We took a chance on YOU.
We took a chance that you would like . . .
A dozen different shows that I never watch. I never watch NOVA because I do not think it enriches the human soul to have the crap bored out of me for an hour, no matter how pretty the pictures are. I never watch ANTIQUES ROADSHOW, because I find I never give a crap how much someone else's old junk is worth. Even when it's a sword.
I have watched GREAT PERFORMANCES, but, hey, sometimes the performances aren't all that, y'know, great. I recall having watched THE AMERICAN EXPERIENCE, and having it put me damn near to sleep, all the while thinking "Well, it's an American experience, but I wouldn't say it's THE American experience." FRONTLINE is what I put on my dog to keep ticks and fleas away, I have no need to watch it.
I have never watched NORTH CAROLINA WEEKENDS, but that just 'cause we are always busy on the weekends. (Great typo there, that almost came out "we are always busty on the weekends." Tee-he-he.) I have watched WASHINGTON WEEK, but, really, LEGISLATIVE WEEK IN REVIEW? I barely care what the @#$%ers have done once it has become law.
As for CURIOUS GEORGE, ARTHUR, or SESAME STREET, I am way beyond the years when I cared, but even then those were just things we watched when Spiderman wasn't on.
But the worst part is the part that comes, traditionally, after their earnest pitch convinces all us unwashed,uncultured schlubs, whom they are sure they have convinced we know not what quality content is, the pitch.
In order to contribute, they want you to become a MEMBER. You gotta join up, be in the COOL CLUB! Otherwise, these quality shows might not exist! Fork over the money, or the muppet gets it!!!
Which is bullshit. Everybody knows that the real money comes from generous donations from insurance and chemical poison companies. And GE. We can't leave out GE. GE has to donate alot to PBS, or else they chance not getting those contracts to make the billion dollar fighter-bomber jets. My $25 would mean less than a spit in the ocean.
Oh, and that's the discount membership. Apparently, they expect us to be cheap bastards down here in the flatlands. Get away from me, ya drunk. No, I don't got a dollar I could spare.
Remind me to thank my wife for deciding to buy a shredder. This is what it's really for: GOP leaflets and PBS come-ons.
posted by Bobo the Wandering Pallbearer at 9:31 AM
6 Comments:
I'm wondering how this gets taggerd with "labia."
Also - NC weekends is pretty good (If I'm thinking of the right show), and how on earth can you NOT like Antiques Road Show? Most of the other stuff I'll take a pass on, by and large, so nobody's really taking a chance on THIS chick.
Shame, really.
This comment has been removed by the author.
You know what they say: loose labia sink naves.
I read the post. I saw the label 'labia' and thought I must have missed the part about Bob Villa.
No Bob Villa . . .
No labias . . .
I honestly don't even know what channel public television is on my cable box. I actually think I have three or four of them. One just shows Austin City Limits all the time, which is prety cool except for the fact I have never once watched it.
Oh man alive!
PBS is worth it's weight in nearly every other channel on TV!
With the possible exception of the SciFi channel, on Saturdays, when they have giant Fauna movies. Awesome.
And Nova is great! At least as informative as anything on Dicovery, without the ice-headache that comes from believing that what you're watching is actually informative!
And antiques roadshow? Seriously, TV doesn't get better than old ladies crying about their crap devalued! It's schadenfreude to the highest degree!
Finally, Sesame Street is obviously not for you. But it's for MY kids. And many more. Support PBS just for that reason -- it goes to what it's supposed to; not crazy highway projects that you never got to vote for.
And finally your affiliate must suck -- they should be showing either Faulty Towers, or Burke's Connections. Oh, or Mystery. Or Jim Lehrer.
Tell me again why you dislike PBS?
That's another thing: I used to watch all those great shows-- Fawlty Towers, Monty Python, Are You Being Served, Doctor in the House-- but about 10 years ago they started shuffling the schedule, so that you'd be used to watching a show at 9, and all of a sudden it isn't on that week until, say, four in the morning. Recently we watched a Nova episode, on the subject of gravity (and the formation of the earth), that eventually so begged the question of Big Bang Theory that it made it sound like the Universe is bound, in the final analysis, to collapse on itself, as all matter is attracted to all other matter. Which is to say, Nova can be a great show, so long as you're not thinking too much about it.
As for Discovery, the only programs I watch there are Mythbusters and Cash Cab.
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