Reaction Shot

SO YESterday, in a cele- bratory mood, I threw caution to the wind and ordered the rib platter at my favorite local joint. Although it made for a pricey meal-- about 35 bucks after over-tipping my pal/waitress/barmaid Holly-- it meant that today I had about a third of the rack left over for lunch, which I supplemented with fried dumplings with hoisin sauce and Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. Delish.

The movie of the day was Michael Clayton, which I love. I mean, Clooney, Tilda Swinton, Tom Wilkinson, and Syd Pollack, God rest his soul. Oh, and of course, Michael O'Keefe, whom you probably don't remember as Danny Newnan in Caddyshack. And, well, hell, everybody else. Great performances. I love it. I don't care if the sourcework is bullshit, which it may or may not be. And when I say "movie of the day," I mean that I watched the latter half this morning over my coffee, and then it was on again when I got back from procuring beer for lunch.

Yesterday's celebratory mood was due to the election being over. I was ready for it to be over weeks ago. And yeah, my guy won-- I voted for Obama-- but it's not like I had been out marching in the streets; I just voted, that's all. I was just glad it was over. 2000, anyone? And then we re-elected the dumbass in '04, despite the fact that everybody knew we were waging war on the wrong country for no good reason anyone was able to unearth, so that didn't help much. Which brings me to my analysis of why McCain lost: Obama was good, but the real problem was that McCain simply wasn't nasty enough to get the Republicans energized.

And Palin, after all, is really too dumb to be effectively nasty. Not only is it hard to trust that she believes anything, it's impossible to tell whether she knows what she is saying or is just reading cue cards.

And this is me after the election is over. Over and done, no bitching, no recounts, just done. Yay democracy. Oh, and we had a near record tunrout, something over 60% of eligibles voting? Yeah. THAT I like. Thus the celebratory ribs.

And then there's this. In case you don't feel like clicking the link, or in case the story's no longer there or whatever, basically a family in Pleasanton, CA, had their Obama sign razored, their tires slashed, and their house spray painted with profanity. AFTER the election.

I'm an American. I'm a patriot. I believe that this is the greatest country on earth. But crap like that almost makes me wanna move.

Guns, Guns, Guns

First off: I am not an anti-gun extremeist. I don't think that we ought not to have the right to own guns. I do think that there is no reason not to have restrictions, especially when it comes to the larger military-style weapons. (No one needs hand grenades or anti-personnel mines, or assault weapons, for that matter, or if they do, it's probably for some basically very bad reasons.) But, for good or ill, this is what it says:

"A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

It says we are to have the right to keep and bear arms in order to serve as our state's militia. Boom. Like that. That's it. That's all. It does not say that we have the right to keep guns in our homes for defense against fellow Americans. It simply doesn't say that. In order to make it say that you have to read it thusly:

" . . . the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."

Notice the missing comma? Sorry. In order for this to be a literal right to own guns, the comma has to go. It just wouldn't make sense otherwise.

What we need is a new amendment. (Full disclosure: this is my wife's suggestion.) Something that spells out, in no uncertain terms, what our gun rights are, up to and including when we lose them. (Like after violent felony convictions. Or after shooting your neighbor's tires out. That sort of thing.) I don't really want to own a gun. Mainly I want something that will make it less likely for me to want to say, six to twelve times a year (depending on political cycles), "Sorry, asshole. You're wrong."